Witch Doctor (If this joke offends you, I'm sorry. There's the door.) So this guy walks into a bar and orders two beers. He downs one and empties the other into his pocket. He orders a second round and does the same thing. After a couple more rounds of this the bartender gets kinda worried and says to the man ""You know, it's your money and your beer, so who am I to say what you can and can't do with it... I'd just hate to think you're making a mess I'll have to clean up."" The man looks at him …

Shingles Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: ""Shingles."" So she wrote down his name

Teacher: “Are you sure your mother wrote this note?” Chris: “Why?” Teacher: “Well, it says that Chris can't do P.E. today as he is under the doctor. Please execute him!”

Kevin thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the guy that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, the guy seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed. “Do …