Three soldiers are in a hot air balloon, riding over a town with a mountain in the distance. As the mountain approaches, the sudden realization hits that they will not clear mountain. In a last-ditch effort, they try to throw out everything they can. The first soldier throws out their weapons, swords and such. Seeing as that wasn't enough, the second soldier throws out their boxes of food rations. Still not enough, the last soldier throws out a bomb, which was critical for their mission, but as …

First Soldier: "What made you go into the army?" Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?" First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace!"

A Unit With a Reputation A rough old general has heard about a unit with the reputation of being filled with the toughest soldiers around and decides he needs to go and check them out. After reviewing the troops on parade he decides to go to the medical tent to meet the soldiers who weren't at parade. The general gets to the first soldier and barks at him ""Why are you here?"" ""Hemorrhoid's Sir!"" ""And how are you treating it?"" ""Wire brush and disinfectant Sir!"" ""And what's your goal in li…

A general inspecting the troops A rough old general has heard about a unit with the reputation of being filled with the toughest soldiers around and decides he needs to go and check them out. After reviewing the troops on parade he decides to go to the medical tent to meet the soldiers who weren't at parade. The general gets to the first soldier and barks at him ""Why are you here?"" ""Hemorrhoid's Sir!"" ""And how are you treating it?"" ""Wire brush and disinfectant Sir!"" ""And what's your goa…