An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

Poor Dr. Epstein Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his medical degree in his hometown and then left for Manhattan. Soon he was invited to give a speech in his hometown. As he placed his papers on the lectern they slid off onto the floor and when he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he farted, and the microphone amplified it throughout the room. He was embarrassed but regained his composure to deliver his paper. As he concluded, he raced out the stage door,…

Young Billy discovers the power of prayers One day Billy's teacher yells at him for not doing his homework. He feels upset and when in bed he prays' Dear God, please kill my teacher"" When he goes to the school, he learns that his teacher passed away. He comes back home amazed by the power of his new forms of communication. Second day, his grandma eats the last piece of cake he was hoping to eat. He feels upset and later that night when in bed he prays ' Dear God, please kill my grandma' In the …

A Chinese family moved into my neighborhood when I was in high school... They had a pair of twins, named Ving and Ling, who were my age. I liked Ving, but his sister Ling was kind of a bitch. Eventually, Ling told me that he hated his name, and he wanted to change it. I asked him, ""What do you want to change your name to?"" and he said ""Lee. You know, like Bruce Lee?"" Ling overheard, and chimed in, saying that their father would disown him if he changed his name. One day, Ving decided he had …