Third Mans Jokes

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted and after he writes his letter they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the…

Dementia Three older men are undergoing a memory test at the doctor's office. The Doctor asks, "What is three times three?" The first man answers, "274." The second man answers, "Tuesday." The third man answers, "Nine." The doctor pleasantly surprised at the third man's correct response, inquires, "Great! How did you get that answer?" "Simple. Just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

Boomer Sorting Three elderly gentlemen are moving into an assisted living retirement community. A case manager has been going through their paperwork and is welcoming them to their new home. She reads through the first man's file and says "I see you have an IQ of 135. You will be happy to know that we have a fully stocked library, a MENSA alumni club, and a speaker series with the local university." She reads through the second man's file and says "Oh, you have an IQ of 110. I think you will …