There was an Irishman an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as …