(Series) A tabloid hires a retired MMA fighter to write the headlines in an effort to save copy space. Story: Speech impairment expert delights patient with early Christmas fancy dress. Headline: Sanda! Story: Suzanne Mcfamousinourtown dumped on wedding day by Israeli lover. Headline: Jiu-jitsu! Story: farmers set to start multi-storey farming with staple vegetables in new trials. Headline: High karate! Story: Japanese furniture and bakery store to open as competition to Swedish giants. Headline…