The State Mental Hospital Hotline Hello and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: 1. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. 2. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. 3. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. 3. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. 4. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to t…