Sheldon Jokes

Sheldon - ""I will have fries with that"" Sheldon : ""Leonard, here s the opening joke for our lecture at Berkeley. What do you say to a graduate of U.C Berkeley physics department ? I will have fries with that, because his education has n't prepared him for a career in the sciences.""

What did Sheldon say to Penny? BaZINCa!!

A man walks out of his office during a thundershower... and, lo and behold, there's an empty taxi right there! He hops in and remarks to the driver how lucky he is to get a taxi in such weather. The cabbie turns to him and says, ""You obviously have perfect timing...just like Sheldon."" ""Who?"" ""Sheldon Schwartz. Now that guy was a guy who did everything right. He was the luckiest guy in the world. Probably the closest thing to human perfection this planet has ever seen. For example, Sheldon a…

An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample. The old man was slightly deaf and said, ''What?'' Again, the doctor said, ''I need a blood, urine and feces sample."" The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear: ''Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!''