Second Friend Jokes

Two friends lived in a Communist country. The first friend asked, "Comrade, if you had two houses, would you give one of them to me?" The second friend replied, "Of course, Comrade!" The first friend was happy with this answer. He then asked, "If you had two cars, would you give one of them to me?" "Of course!" replied the second friend. Overjoyed, the first friend then asked, "If you had two chickens, would you give one of them to me?" "No, comrade!" The second friend said. Surprised and…

There were two best friends who did almost everything together. Last week, the first friend says, “It's about time I lost some weight so tomorrow I'm starting a diet.” “Okay, I'll do the same” said the second friend. “We can help encourage each other to lose the weight and if I get the urge for some fries and a burger, I will call you first.” “That's brilliant” replied the first friend, “I need a lift to MacDonald’s as it is miles away!”

Ben and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed andthey weren’t mine.” His second friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.” Ben says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. “No I’m serious. The other d…

Two friends enter a marathon. After they had been running for a while, they were passed by a tall, muscular man. "I know that guy" the first said. "He's a construction worker." A few minutes later, another racer passed them with long, loping strides. "That fellow's a doctor." Just then, ambulance sirens began to wail in the distance, and a runner sprinted by so quickly that he was just a blur. "Who was that?" asked the second friend. "Him?" the first answered. "He's a lawyer!"