I think my wife is having an affair with a horse. Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.” His second friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.” Paddy says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends …

WIFE: Where's the dog? *flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

The Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfo…

A big game hunter walked into the bar... ...and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him, and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel. And if he could locate the bullet hole. he would even tell them what caliber rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument was going on. Then the hunter said that he was wil…