Ted and Mike were out walking in the country when Ted turned to Mike and said: "I really need to take a crap." "There's a tree," said Mike. "Why don't you go behind that?" Ted looked at the tree and said: "But I don't have any toilet paper." "You've got a dollar, haven't you?" asked Mike. "You can wipe yourself with that." Reluctantly Ted took his advice, disappeared behind the tree and did his business. Minutes later, he came back with crap all over his hands. "What happened?" asked Mike. "Didn…