Pope Jokes

KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good

THE POPE AND A ATTORNEY ARE AT THE ELEVATOR The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven. When they arrive at the gates, there's a mad rush of angels, saints, and other holy people on their way to greet them. When they arrive, they pick the lawyer up on their shoulders and carry him off cheering hysterically. The pope is deeply saddened. St. Peter sees this and goes over to him and says, ""Don't feel bad. We get popes in here all the time, it's not every day we get a lawyer.""

Popemobile pulled over... So Pope Francis was on his tour of the world, when he came to US. As he was walking out of his grand hotel and getting into the popemobile, he turned to his driver and said ""You know, I haven't had a chance to drive in years. Ever since before I was a cardinal. Would you mind if I took the car for a spin? It would help me feel young again!"" The driver, being devoted and willing to do anything for the pope agreed, but asked where he should ride if His Holiness was goin…

"I know everyone..." was on Bill's resume. Was on Bill's resume when he applied for his new job. His manager, Dave, impressed by everything else made a comment. Dave: "Surely, you dont know EVERYONE." Bill retorts: " I do infact know everyone." Dave asks smugly: "Even the President of the U.S.?" Bill nonchalantly pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts seemingly forever and pushes the call button and then puts the phone on speaker. Bill: 'Hey, Mr. President, you there bud?" Preside…