Mitch Hedberg Jokes

I wrote a joke for a stand-up routine that I'll never get to do. Being a comedian is tough. Even when you write your own material, everyone accuses you of stealing from other comedians. Jokes about airline food? Observational comedy? "You got that from George Carlin!" One liners? "You can't do that, Mitch Hedberg does that!" You tell a joke that sucks? "You definitely stole that from Dane Cook!"

I'm really good with cars, man. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's going. - Mitch Hedberg

I was at a job interview... I was at a job interview and the boss asked me where I saw myself in 5 years and I said celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking me this question. R.I.P Mitch Hedberg

I'm against picketing.... But I don't know how to show it. - Mitch Hedberg

I used to copy Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here. I still do, but I used to too...

When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too.

I used to like Mitch Hedberg I still do but I used to too. RIP Mitch, we miss you.

I used to like Mitch Hedberg jokes... I still do, but I used to, too. 18 years ago, today, we lost one of the greats. R.I.P. to a legend.

I bought a world map for my room, I’m gonna put a pin on everywhere that i’ve travelled… … but first I gotta travel to the top 2 corners of the map so it won’t fall down. (Mitch Hedberg 2003)

I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes... I still do but I used to too.

Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

I used to steal jokes from Mitch Hedberg I still do

I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes. I still do

I used to like Mitch Hedberg I still do but I used to too. RIP Mitch

My attempt at a Mitch Hedberg joke ""Why are people always having their pizzas delivered? Just order them without liver.""

I used to copy Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here. I still do

I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and try to pass them off as my own. I still do, but I used to too.