I saw a pirate on the street the other day
"Oh my gosh, are you a pirate?"
"Aye, I be a pirate."
"Wow, cool! I see you have a peg leg. How did you come to need that?"
"It was during a mutiny. Me crew threw me overboard and a shark bit me leg off."
"Ouch. And your hook? How'd that happen?"
"During the mutiny, boy. My crew threw me overboard and the very same shark bit me hand off, too."
"Oh man. And your eye patch?"
"Bird poop."
"Bird poop?"
"Aye. A bird pooped in me eye, and it was the…