Lab Jokes

I need a new job. One where I'm always running out the door with my arms flailing and holding a jar screaming "I GOTTA GET THIS TO THE LAB!"

THE CAT AND THE LAB A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary hospital. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the Vet shook his head sadly and said, ""I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."" The distressed owner wailed, ""Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."" The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returni…

A man visits a doctor... He complains about chest pains. The doctor nods and asks him to wait. The doctor excuses himself for a moment and returns with a labrador. The dog sniffs the man, licks him and is the taken away by the doctor. The doctor now returns with a cat , it licks the man and scratches him with its paws. Its then taken away. The man is now confused. Meanwhile the doctor returns. And says ""That would $500."" The man was now furious and said ""But for what I have only been here for…

The Lady & The Duck A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. …