Two guys were talking. One said to the other: "I don't understand it. I'm Church of England and you're Catholic; I'm allowed to practise birth control but you, as a Catholic, are not. Yet I have eight kids and you have none. How come?" The Catholic said: "It's because I only do it during the safe period." "Really? When's that?" "When you're out at work." Two guys came knocking at my door and said: 'We want to talk to you about Jesus.' I said: 'Oh, no, what's he done now?' Kevin McAleer