Johnny One Jokes

A strongly built and enraged man walks into a bar .... and yells out to a group of drunks: ""WHICH ONE OF YOU IS JOHNNY???!"" One of the drunks raises his hand and slurs: ""I'm Johnny."" The man quickly proceeds to beat the living hell out of the drunk man. When he is done, he warns: ""That'll teach you to never do that again."" And the man walks out of the bar. The drunk man starts laughing uncontrollably when one of his drunk friends walks over to ask him: ""What's so funny? You just got the s…

Little Johnny One morning little Johnny and his father was walking down the road when little Johnny saw a beetle on the ground with its feet up. Johhny asked his father, ""Dad what's wrong with that beetle?"", and his dad responds, ""The beetle died and it will be easier for God to pick it up and take it to heaven."" This makes Johnny cry and he begins to explain to his dad why. ""Mom is going to die! This morning, she was holding her feet up and screaming 'Oh God I'm coming', luckily the neighb…

Drinking too much Every night a guy would come home blitzed out of his mind and puke in the kitchen sink. His wife grew tired of this and always berated him, "Johnny! One of these nights you are going to come home and puke your guts out!!" He doesn't listen so she decides to put a chicken's worth of chicken guts in the sink to teach him a lesson. That night Johnny comes home and again pukes in the sink..... The next morning his wife says, "You see it finally happened...." Johnny says, "You …