Five Jokes Which Have Never Produced Laughter The 5 jokes that have never produced laughter, as seen in ""The Areas of my Expertise"" by John Hodgman. 1. A man goes into a bar. He has a dog with him. The dog is wearing an eye patch. The man says to the bartender, ""Ask me about my dog."" Unfortunately, the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the other end of the bar. When he comes around to the man with the dog again, the man orders an im…