Grandpa Grandpa Jokes

A grandfather and his grandson are on a flight home when an engine blows... The pilot comes on the intercom "This is your captain speaking. We seem to have lost an engine and we are quickly losing altitude. So to reduce weight we will need to dump all the cargo and luggage." All the cargo and luggage gets dumped and the pilot comes on the intercom again "This is your captain speaking. We are still losing altitude so to save the majority a few must sacrifice their lives and be removed from the p…

Little Billy is standing in the barn with his grandpa... There are rabbits in the barn and their droppings are all over the floor. The boy says, "What are all these pellets on the ground, grandpa?" Grandpa says, "They're smart pills, Billy. Eat them and you'll get smarter." Little Billy liked the sound of that so he grabbed a handful off the ground and shoved them in his mouth. He immediately spit them out and said, "Ugh, those taste like crap, grandpa!" Grandpa says, "See you're getting smar…

Russian Joke: A little girl goes up to her mother... ...and asks her, "Mommy, why does everyone say my face looks like an ass?" Her mother replies, "Oh honey no, you're beautiful! Don't listen to them, just go talk to your father." So the little girl finds her father and asks him, "Papa, why does everyone say that my face looks like an ass?" And her father replies, "No honey...don't listen to them. You're my beautiful little princess! Why don't you go talk to your grandfather? He's out…