I call my wife Bambi
She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes. But it's really because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.
**Edit:** Some people have accused me of "being a plagiarist" and "stealing other's jokes"... Their words, not mine...
*Pause for comedic value*
But seriously, this **is** a version of an Ashlee Barnhill joke. Sorry for the bamboozle fellow redditors.