A guy dies and goes to heaven.
He looks around and sees clocks.
He asks St. Peter, "What are all these clocks for?"
He replies "OH, those are lie clocks, everytime you lie the hands move."
"Whose is that?"
"Mother Teresa's. Its never moved."
"How about that one?"
"Oh, thats Abe Lincoln's. Its moved a bit."
The man thinks awhile and asks,"What about \[insert politician here\]'s clock?"
"Oh that ones in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."