The pizza eating competition So this guys walks on to a pizza hut which had flyers stuck up everywhere around the place that read, '1 million prize money for those who have 50 pizza's in a row'. The man got excited and went to the busboy and said 'I'm in for the competition'. The busboy then took him to a room where another participant was sitting in a table munching his pizza tiresomely and looked like he was about to throw up. He soon gave up and paid for the pizza's he had before he left. The…

Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*

I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies.

What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog