The scariest thing about being a doctor is if you ever, even once, accidentally call it a "cooter" you're fired for life.

I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment.

[Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. "Is it bad, doc?" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* "Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere