"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog

Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die.

The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute.

*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.