Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election

[2050] "Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?" Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out

Please refrain from telling elderly election volunteers to "work that poll".

Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…