If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand.

Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !

Her: (Sigh) How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey? Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Americans eat Turkeys at Christmas. Do people in Turkey eat Americans?