As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"

OH: If you ever want to call a family meeting, just turn off the WiFi router and wait in the room where it's located.

I love the compliments my boss gives like "wow you're on time today" and "great job ignoring dress code again".

*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds "extremely organized" to resume.