😄 museum guide: america was founded on july 4, 1776 me: [nodding sagely] ah yes so its a Cancer. this ...

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

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Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER

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Remember to leave milk and cookies out for Captain America tonight.

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Can America keep it down? Canada needs to work on Monday.

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