[talking to daughter's art major boyfriend] "You know who else had a pointy beard? Satan."#Dating#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.#Dating#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU#Dating#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.#Dating#Parents#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard.#Dating#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp