Someone hired a sloth with a knife to murder me, he's in my driveway, so I have 6-8 months to live#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog#Animals#Kids#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp