[oval office] SECRETARY: (shrieks) there's a dead rat on my desk! PRESIDENT WHO IS A CAT: wow someone must really like you *winks*

Cows CSIRO Officials admitted that they found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Noonamah and Palmerston, in Northern Territory, where there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. The Territory Government approved and the CSIRO contracted a bird pathologist to examine the remains of all the crows and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, much to everyone's relief. However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2…

A priest, a doctor, and a politician... A priest, a doctor, and a politician are kidnapped by an evil psychopath. The psychopath says I'm going to get each of you to hold a snake for ten minutes, the most venomous snake in the world. If it doesn't bite you, I'll let you go. If you refuse, I'll shoot you.' The priest says a short prayer, kisses his cross, and holds the snake. It bites him, and he falls dead almost instantly. The doctor examines the snake, tries to find the best position to stop t…

A priest, a doctor, and a politician are kidnapped by an evil psychopath. The psychopath says I'm going to get each of you to hold a snake for ten minutes, the most venomous snake in the world. If it doesn't bite you, I'll let you go. If you refuse, I'll shoot you.' The priest says a short prayer, kisses his cross, and holds the snake. It bites him, and he falls dead almost instantly. The doctor examines the snake, tries to find the best position to stop the snake being uncomfortable, and holds …