Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."

*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!

[Interview room] Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present Cop: You ARE the lawyer Me: So where's my present?!

*interview* So, why do you want to be a judge? *Imagines myself going work everyday in my robe* "To fight crime"