[Home Depot] "Hi, my wife asked me to pick up some small finishing nails" Clerk: Oh, with a little head? "Nah, just verbally"

WIFE: Please stop. ME: Stop what? WIFE: Singing in the shower. ME: What's the big deal? WIFE: You're scaring everyone at Home Depot.

A man sends his wife to Home Depot A man busy with his project sends his wife to Home Depot. When she gets there she finds the closest associate and tells him ""I need some...oh yes, 4 by 2's"" and the associate kind of chuckles. He says that usually people call them 2 by 4's but that's OK. He walks with her to the limber section and asks ""how long do you need them"" she says ""forever, we're building a deck"".

Home Depot. long but worth it I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to poop yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morn…