Husband just asked if I was too drunk to cook dinner. Ha! Does he think I'm some sort of amateur? *googles how to cover up burnt eyebrows*

Fail-proof diet: cut sugar, fats, pasta, alcohol, bread and wrists.

I've started my new diet by putting a salad in front of the beer. Thus I have to move it to get a beer. Because exercise is important too.

If getting drunk and eating pizza rolls is wrong then maybe I don't fully comprehend how a kindergarten open house actually works.