*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.

my idiot dog just ate a box of condom. i was gonna eat those buddy

ME: Hey buddy, your dog left a little 'present' on my lawn GUY: Huh? ME: *points to tiny, nicely wrapped gift* Thank him for me, willya?

*sees lost cat* Hey buddy you lost *reads tag* there's a phone number *dials number* *little cell phone in cats pocket starts ringing*