*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.

my idiot dog just ate a box of condom. i was gonna eat those buddy

Are you eating Jell-O? Cow: "Yeah." You know what gelatin is made from, right? Cow: "No, what?" Uh. Rainbows. Enjoy, buddy.

*sees lost cat* Hey buddy you lost *reads tag* there's a phone number *dials number* *little cell phone in cats pocket starts ringing*