Girls, I think it was Thomas Jefferson who once said; "Never put off for tomorrow, when you can put out today."

If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream "What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"

I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson. She said, ""Your name is Brian."" I said, ""Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.""

George Washington: We should put 'We trust in God' on our money Thomas Jefferson: Great idea. Did you get that? Yoda (taking notes): Yep