According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know

THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise