Back in my day we didn't call meeting strangers from the Internet in random places for a weekend "tweet ups" we called it "shit you dont do"

How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?

"Is this your resume?" Yes "It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away?" Yes "Welcome to UPS!"

I have a UPS joke Sorry it was delivered it to your landlord's off property leasing office ten miles down the road.