*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you.#Er#Driving#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever#Driving#Police#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING#Marriage#Driving#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.#Twitter#Driving#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp