Me: Can I leave early? Boss: Why? Me: Death Boss: Who died? Me: No one yet Boss: Me: Boss: Get out

Me: Want some of my nachos? Coworker: I don't like nachos. Me: Hello 911, what's consider premeditated murder?

If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss

Boss: "We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."