*at church* "Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?" I OFFER MY FIRST BORN CHILD "Jim no"

Everytime a suburban white kid throws up a gang sign, an angel misses brunch.

Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite.

[cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*