"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog

Little Kid: wanna hear a joke? Me: life is meaningless without death Little Kid: why did the chicken cro- wait what?

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead.