I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look.

[at funeral parlor with bereaved girlfriend] HER: You think these glass urns are a good idea? ME: Remains to be seen.

Surprise your girlfriend by hiding in her trunk until you're dead.

Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely.