There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.

Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!

I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'

"Laughter is the best medicine" -doctor who failed med school