*Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight.

[giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda

An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

A night at the temple A man is traveling through the country and his car breaks down. He gets out and walks for miles and miles, and the first sign of civilization he sees is an old temple. He goes inside and asks the monks if he can use their phone. The head monk tells him ""We have no phone - and it is already getting dark. If you like, you may stay the night with us and tomorrow some of our brothers will walk you into town. Not having many other options, the man agrees and he is given a modes…