When someone tells me they're a doctor or an engineer all I can think is: "wow your parents must've yelled at you to do your homework a lot"

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

College Engineer So a Engineering student is studying outside when his colleague drives up in a shiny new motorcycle. ""Hey!"" says the college student, ""Where'd you get the motorcycle."" His colleague replied ""You know it was the strangest thing. I'm walking around town when suddenly a beautiful blonde girl in a black skin tight jumpsuit drives up on this motorcycle. She takes one look at me, tore off her leather jumpsuit (which was the only thing she was wearing) points to the motorcycle and…

Engineering student show up to his lab partner's house with a new bike... His partner says, ""wow.. that's a pretty nice bike you got there."" Engineering student says, ""yeah, I was outside my dorm last night when a co-ed rode up on it. She was really drunk. She threw the bike on the ground and took off all of her clothes and said 'you can have whatever you want.'"" Partner says, ""it's a good thing you chose the bike... I don't think the clothes would have fit you.""