When I was a kid growing up in the Cold War, I had nightmares about the Russians. They wrote long novels. And professors made me read them.

The only upside to Trump's big wall is that Texas will finally get some of Banksy's Art. Maybe like a little girl and a soldier with a gun

Fun prank: tell your kid World War II ended by the Americans dropping an F-bomb on Japan. Then later when his teacher calls, act shocked.

Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.