Ever since my son got his first girlfriend, I've been changing the bed sheets much more often. Whenever I imagine him knocking her up, I shit myself.

You know, after all these years, I hardly remember the first girlfriend I had. I remember she was Muslim, but physically, all I can recall are the beautiful hazel eyes Jihad.

I just bought my first girlfriend online I got her off E-Bae

A girl asks her boyfriend about how she looks. "" You said your first girlfriend was very pretty and your second girlfriend was quite ugly, what do you think about me"" ""Well, says the boyfriend, I think you are a bit of both"" ""How"" She asks He replies"" I think you're pretty ugly""