My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn't my finger.

Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie

I'm at my most Liam Neeson when my food is missing from the employee fridge.

[staff meeting] "Ya so heads up, someone grabbed my lunch from the fridge, and there's a 420% chance you shouldn't eat the brownie inside"